12 20 occurred ‘’n paar jaar terug’ . It was also relied on by the defendant’s counsel as evidence of the plaintiff’s awareness that his client was responsible for the troubles that beset her. [38] Towards the end of 1996 the appellant watched the Oprah Winfrey Show on television. The subject was child sexual abuse. The hostess confessed that she was a victim ‘and look where I am today’. According to the plaintiff such openness was a revelation to her. As she put it, ‘I thought, Good grief, she can say it, she actually said it. . . I couldn’t believe that a person is prepared to say that. Dis of daar – of dit moontlik is om nie so bang te wees om dit te sê of sy is nie skaam nie. Sy was nie skaam om dit te sê nie en dit het al vir my gevoel of miskien dit is nie so erg as wat – as ‘n mens dit sê nie’13. She told Ms Potgieter, ‘Possibly I can say what happened . . .I don’t need to keep it inside me anymore because it’s finishing me off’. Potgieter said, ‘There must be something you can do about him’. ‘[I said] “I can’t. I don’t have money and I’m alone.” I got very drunk. . . Ek kan nie nou gaan en gaan praat of doen iets nie, ek gaan net as – weereens soos my ma as ‘n leuenaar uitgemaak word.14’ [39] Shortly thereafter the plaintiff caused a disturbance at the home of friends. When she went to apologize, one of them, Jay, a final year psychology student, invited her to talk about things that were worrying her. That led the plaintiff to disclose to Jay 12 ‘a few years ago’ 13 ‘It’s as if – as if it’s possible not to be so scared to say that she is not ashamed. She was not ashamed to say it and I felt that it is perhaps not so serious as that – if one says it.’ 14 ‘I can’t go now and talk (about it) or do anything, I would be made out to be a liar just as my mother did.’